Monday, June 11, 2012

I do say, an Alleycat is afoot!

Do you like to ride your velocipede as fast as you can muster, dodge wagons and passerbys alike, and arrive at the finish line sweating as if you've just escaped the clutches of hell itself? Or do you like to be entangled in a sphere of rhyme and riddle, ride at a quick but not deadly pace, and still have a chance at gold?


‎"It is light, and little, and leans lovingly against you for support". - The Velocipede 1869

Excellent! You are perfect for this race, or shall I say "challenge", in our lovely high Zion!

Don your finest sport suit, tweed, blouse, knickers, bloomers, or really any fine article of clothing from an era that is not our current one (extra points if you do!), climb aboard your polished velocipede (again points for class in bicycle selection) and meet in Plum Alley at the strike of five on the clock, Saturday 16 June. 

Read more for further information, poor attempts at refined English, and maybe a few double entendres...

To better serve all cyclists, those of us who like to ride quickly, and those of us who want to soak it all in, and those who love tweed, this alleycat is manufactured to be raced as you see fit while maintaining (as best as possible) a level playing field.

Obviously full disclosure of the race will be given a moment before departure, but in the mean time I can fill you in on how to increase the odds of your accession to first place.

- Bring a lock. In fact, bring a pen and a small bag while your at it. A stylish hip pouch will suffice, but will not bode as well for points as a handlebar bag affixed to your bicycle.

- Bring money and an ID. Just do it. Both will fit perfectly in that handlebar bag you will be bringing.

- Foregoing the technical bicycling clothes of today, for the more palpable clothes of a previous era will, in fact, net you more points in the end.

- Foregoing your fastest racing bicycle, for one with a more stately appearance will also net you more points, only not as many as a dapper hat or a slick pair of pants, as bicycles do not come from the D.I. for three dollars.

- Start thinking and forming a team now. Keep in mind relative attendance to alleycats in the Salty Zion, please limit your teams to about three people. Teams of four may be considered if you present a valid argument.

- Bring a device that records video and or photographs; preferably both. This is required. If you do not have a device that meets said requirements, talk amongst your teammates to locate one. Only one camera needed per team.

- Bring water. Serious. It's hot out.

1 comment:

  1. sounds radical.

    glad to see you throwing down the a-cat.

    i pity da foo who don't believe.add this event here, please:http://biketribe.org/z.

    ReplyDelete

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