Tuesday, June 15, 2010

A huge step backward



I love gambling towns, don't you? They always inspire such a vitality in me, encourage my better inclinations, fufill my soul. For example, a small po-dunk town in Colorado has decided to BAN BICYCLES WITHIN THE CITY LIMITS! Ah yes, very inspiring indeed. Exactly the direction I want my small towns to go. (Click below for my full hotheaded rant. You've been warned)

If you disprove of this kind of -dare I say it?- inbred short-sighted retardation, you can write to the city council and give them a little piece of your mind. I'm sure they'll appreciate it, right after they learn how to read. I have to admit, though, I don't find this very outrageous or alarming, it just seems in-line with the direction consumer-oriented American values are headed. Take away a huge personal freedom and transform the status quo of car ownership into a mandate. I can just picture the coughing, wrinkled, compulsive gamblers of Black Hawk getting fatter and fatter in front of their slot machines and behind the dashes of their wheezing '81 Broncos. The might as well mandate smoking, for all I care. Let Darwinism sort things out for them.

The scarier truth, however, is that if this kind of gross myopic thinking continues it may be seen as common practice to mandate the way people get around, even in the face of every shred of evidence that thoughtless oil dependence is a completely useless, wasteful, and unnecessary thing to normalize, let alone legally require. I mean, let's be real. That town's probably 3/4 of a mile across! It has one freakin' road! They could ban cars and everyone would still get around just fine. Well, except for granny whale with her oxygen tank. She still needs to drive to the 7-11 to buy a pack of American Spirits.

2 comments:

  1. who wants to go to podunk no where anyway??? Im thinking bout a road trip... bike tour anyone?

    ReplyDelete

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